I apologize in advance to my more sensitive, Phantom Menace loving readers because I believe the next ten minutes are the worst of the entire film.
The day on Coruscant is ending, and with it comes the conclusion of what has turned out to be a very short visit. Given all the headaches, gambling, podracing, droid killing, and Sith evading that it took to get to the capital, one would think that our heroes would stay a bit longer, but they are off before a full day has passed. When Amidala was considering leaving Naboo in the first place it was because “Palpatine will need your help” but once she got here it seemed that everyone and no one cared that she was there, and Palpatine only needed her help to call for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum, because apparently leaders from mid Rim planets can walk into the Senate and summarily demand the Senate leader be removed from office for no reason whatsoever. I know that is a really long sentence, but read it again. That is exactly what happens, and that makes no sense. Consider it this way: Arnold Schwarzenegger, governor of California, could possibly be able to get into Congress and make a plea for help in California because he was being invaded, but I doubt that if he was interrupted by the representative of his invader he could then call for the Vice-President to be tossed out. A governor has no say in how the Senate is run. Granted, apparently the Constitution of the Galactic Republic allows for this, but my point is that this is a really, really dumb way to run a galactic legislature. Such a political system would have collapsed long before the time frame of the Phantom Menace, I guarantee it.
Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace (01.29.54-01.38.28)
This section picks up right as Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn are arguing outside the Jedi Council chamber while inside Anakin is being “tested” by the Jedi Council, which apparently consists of a mind-reading or ESP quiz and an interrogation. I have serious problems with the questions the Council asks, by which I mean Yoda Windu and Ki-Adi-Mundi (because, like the Senate, everyone else is apparently a spectator). Their entire inquisition, and reason why Anakin is unsuitable, hinges on the fact that Anakin is afraid, that is, afraid to lose his mother. Yoda insists that “see through you, we can”, but I think that the Council is looking for reasons to reject Anakin (01:30:24). Either that or they have no idea what to do with a non-indoctrinated child. Anakin retorts to Yoda’s assertion that he is “afraid to lose [his mother]” with a just question “what has that got to do with anything?” (01:30:38). This is a just question because the Jedi Council seizes upon the most upper level, immediate concern that a little boy only a day or so removed from leaving his mother, for all he knows: forever, and use this a basis for his unsuitability for Jedi recruitment. Seriously? What eight year old kid who just left home wouldn’t be concerned about the fate of his only parent? Why is this not an admirable quality: Anakin is caring, loving, and loyal to family? And why can the Council not see beyond the immediate emotion? Eventually Anakin could learn to get on without his mother and probably be just fine if the Council had not made such a big deal out attachments. Given than Anakin is so Force-strong, and obviously could be a great asset, if trained properly, why would the Council not simply negate Anakin’s fear of loss by freeing his mom and employing her somewhere where Anakin could know she would be safe? Problem solved, right? No, because the Council is so inflexible that attachment cannot be condoned and they force a child who needs loving support to have no emotional support.
Which is why Yoda insists on a weird philosophy in which “fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering” or in other words: human emotion is completely misunderstood (01:30:49). This is stated like an empirical fact, when it is, in fact, blatantly untrue. That is, it might be true for one individual, but it is certainly not applicable to every sentient being everywhere, much less, all humans. Yoda, being over 800 years old, definitely should have so much experience with humans that he should know better. And even if it were the case, this is only the case because Anakin fears to lose his mother, the Jedi Council forbids him from ever thinking about or seeing her again, which makes him hate them, and his hate leads to their destruction and their suffering. Talk about a self-fulfillling prophecy that could have been avoided completely. However, Anakin’s downfall actually has little to with his mother in the sense that one person is never so simple. George Lucas’ apparent desire to make things simplistic forces him to write badly. Gone is the great scene in Empire Strikes Back when Luke fights Vader and sees his own face in the helmet. There, Yoda’s “Hmm” was so much more communicative than all his psychobabble blather here. If this were written to show how Yoda learned through exile I could love this scene, but it is definitely not written that way as Lucas lacks the necessary subtly, depth and foresight.
Night falls, and the scene shifts to a morose Amidala waiting in Palpatine’s office. Jar Jar has his best scene in the entire film, one in which the Gungan articulates intelligently, is perceptive and realistic. He is so different that I would almost be inclined to think he is a different character altogether. He is wrong about the racial prejudice of the Naboo, but only because he cannot guess that Gungans are so far beneath the Naboo that they didn’t even know about the Grand Army that the Gungans possess.
And, while Jar Jar is so good, Amidala looks bored or completely checked out, almost stoned. She has zero emotion in this scene, and throughout the next few minutes. Only her eyes move, generally, which paired with her pasty makeup makes her kind of creepy. Apparently her 15 minute trip to the Senate completely drained all the life from her, along with her sanity. Panaka enters to present the “surprising” news that Palpatine has been nominated to succeed Valorum as Chancellor. Palpatine tries to play it off, but Amidala doesn’t buy his dumb act. I think this is more evidence that Lucas can’t write and that Palpatine is a bad politician. (Also, the line “If I am elected I promise to put an end to corruption” might be fine for a campaign trail, but not a private meeting between a Queen and her representative (01:31:56).) He should be proving that he can turn events to his favor and that he is astute at the political game, not that he is the recipient of fortuitous circumstances. The former says “I can do” and the latter says “place no faith in me” something no politician would ever allow to be thought of him. I kind of like that Amidala ignores Palpatine’s posturing throughout the entire scene, but again, it seems like she just doesn’t care more than she is wise to his act. Palpatine again says something completely ridiculous when trying to steer the conversation back towards himself: “I have a feeling our situation will create a strong sympathy vote for us” (01:32:07). Really?? The situation that got exactly one senator not involved in the situation interrupting your plea and slamming the door for aid on you? The situation that apparently no one else even knows about because they didn’t shout down the call for evidence with “what, you need MORE evidence”? That situation? Either Palpatine is a complete moron or Lucas fails to pay attention to anything he writes and no one on his crew called him on it. I will let you decide.
Amidala says something about “controlling bureaucrats” that is more at home in an Empire than a Republic, but then goes on to fear that “there will be nothing left of our people, our way of life”, probably still deluding herself into thinking that the Trade Federation is completely trashing her planet and murdering everyone even though that makes absolutely no sense for them to do and is completely unproven (01:32:17). She then decides to go home to wage war. In a desperate move to salvage the situation, Palpatine brings up his treaty, which makes no sense for him to say in his role as a Senator because such a treaty is illegal and nonsensical but Amidala ignores him anyway because she is trying to be heroic. This is actually a larger problem than a dumb line, because this is a problem with having the film’s main villain be the same guy who is behind the curtain pulling the strings. It means that situations like this can appear making the film’s villain impotent. He actually needs Amidala away from Naboo because she could do exactly what she wants to (ie, free her planet), which would ruin Palpatine’s plans to swoop in and save the day, but he can do nothing about it without revealing that he is evil. (This is why Vader was the main villain of the Original Trilogy and why Lucas fails by not having a Vader in this trilogy despite three excellent candidates in Maul, Tryrannus/Dooku, and Greivous.)
(Blink and you will miss Palpatine’s evil smile. His dialogue is dumb, but McDiarmid’s acting is superb.)
Next, Qui-Gon is completely shocked that Obi-Wan was right and the Jedi Council did not just bow to his wishes. In this scene Liam Neeson’s acting is so over the top that he makes Qui-Gon seem like a buffoon. He also whines “he is the chosen one…you must see it” which is arrogant condescension and an insult (01:33:29). He rebels blatantly against the Council’s decision, and they respond by quoting rules, as if it would work. Jinn’s endorsement of Kenobi, far from being gracious, is nothing more than a bid for his own way, but then, insulting inferiors is something Jinn does all the time.
While on the landing platform waiting for Amidala to change clothes again, Kenobi resumes his argument with Jinn and Jinn just orders him to shut up. Next, Jinn tries to explain the Force to an obviously confused Anakin. This scene is supposed to mirror Yoda explaining the Force to Luke, but it fails, mostly because Anakin does not understand a single thing said to him (01:36:21). Jinn also contradicts Kenobi’s instruction from A New Hope when he states that the Force speaks its will to the Jedi. This is not an ideological difference, or else it would mean that there should be two Forces, one evil and one bad, and that has way too many problematic ramifications for this whole midichlorian thing and the fact that a person can choose to be evil or good. This is just bad writing. Furthermore, the pacing, timing, and mood of this scene is completely different than the Dagobah exposition scene: Jinn has just had two arguments and come off as decidedly not wise and inscrutable; this is a transition scene, not a character building scene (which means too much is happening); and the mood is unsettled, not a quiet, serene swamp discussion. Incidentally, this entire exchange is an argument against a child Anakin. Some things only really work with adult characters.
Why is the end of this scene triumphant-feeling? I could understand Jar Jar being excited because he really doesn’t understand what is going on, but the music means for it to be triumphant, which means Lucas means for it to be. Why?
Next, Panaka and Jinn try to persuade Amidala that she is not acting rationally and she responds by exploiting Jar Jar and planning to exploit the Gungans, which shows that while viewers thought she was being enlightened and learning to treat Gungans as equals she was in fact not growning at all. Thus Lucas destroys any real character development he had going with Amidala’s character.
Finally, the Queen arrives at home once again to discover that the Trade Federation blockade has apparently disappeared. I have no idea why Amidala doesn’t turn around and come back with a fleet (hired, borrowed, or Senate provided) with which to destroy the droid control ship and retake her planet the smart way, except that the film is not written to be sensible. And, since there is only one ship, the pilot is stupid enough to fly straight through its sensor range instead of approaching from the opposite side of the planet.
In either case, Kenobi says “we haven’t much time” and I agree. This movie is failing fast.
(01:38:28)
a simple man 