SWD: “The Clone Wars” Special Edition

I have been going through a deconstruction of the Star Wars movies, and while I am focusing my attention on those six films, I am going to take a moment to deconstruct a few aspects Clone Wars cartoon series, while drawing a few examples from the most recent episode, Pursuit of Peace (available on StarWars.com).

Mostly I have been ignoring the Clone Wars, watching each episode out of morbid curiosity, usually while I eat my breakfast. I find the animation to be a little distracting sometimes, the writing is almost always atrocious, and even worse, this season, for whatever ill advised reason, the show’s producers and writers have been playing merry merry hob with the timeline. From what I can tell, most of Season 3 has taken place before Season 1, and various episodes have bounced around during Season 2. If a fan were not diligent about reading the episode guides on StarWars.com, I fear they would be hopelessly lost, sad, and confused by now.

That being said, I appreciate the effort, however badly executed, to show the intrigue, politics, and breadth of the Clone Wars. What first kept my attention in the series were the clone troopers themselves. Throughout the first (and partially the second) season special effort was made to show the clones as individuals, with hopes, dreams, fears, and most importantly, lives. Far from being organic battle droids, these guys were as human as the other characters in the Star Wars universe that fans knew and loved. Far from being faceless drones, these guys were every man.

Sadly, that level of characterization has been lost in the effort to promote female characters in the Star Wars universe, and Padme in particular (not that I have a problem with female Star Wars characters). Almost every single political episode features her in a major way. One would almost believe that she was the only Senator of importance, and every other Senator hovers in her circle. Even in the latest episode, Pursuit of Peace, Bail Organa is said to have greater influence than Amidala, but from what transpires (and what has already transpired) I do not believe it.

What prompted me to write this special deconstruction post was the way that Amidala’s handmaiden is treated in this episode. I focus on this interaction specifically because it showcases appalling gaps of logic in the writer’s reasoning, and is directly opposed to the goal of promoting female characters. I will explore that as I move through the episode.

First, the voice over says something about peace attempts being halted by a “droid suicide bombing” (00.29). I guess I better schedule a psych visit for my toaster oven, because I didn’t know machines that were designed to be bombs could commit suicide. If the robots in question were as sophisticated as Isaac Asimov’s creations, I could entertain a discussion on droid suicide, but not with something that was programmed to be a bomb from the beginning. Writing like that makes me either cringe, or giggle, but is what makes me not take this show seriously at all.

Much about this episode centres around a vote in the Galactic Senate to deregulate the banks in the galaxy which would have the direct result of allowing the Republic to borrow money in order to purchase more clone troopers. This is a move that Amidala directly opposes, ostensibly because she wants to end the war without further fighting. I personally do not see how deregulating a bank makes borrowing money from it any easier unless the Senate had previously passed a regulation limiting the amount of money they could borrow from private banks. Furthermore, I don’t understand why the Senate even needs to borrow money from private banks to fund their war. I admit that I don’t know enough about economics and politics to really critique this, but I fully suspect that the writer of this episode knows less than I because nothing here makes sense. In fact, the only outcome of the deregulation would seem to be a charging of extremely high interest on the loan from the one bank that Amidala talks to, which would appear to be a dumb move, because there would almost certainly be some other bank willing to loan money at a lower interest rate in order to get the Senate’s business.

However, the episode begins with an argument in the Senate, and Amidala tries desperately to get the Senators to continue with a bid for peace talks because the previous “droid suicide bombing” that has everyone outraged took place after the request for negotiations. I fail to see at all how she thinks this matters. The show’s writer apparently thinks this matters, but I just don’t understand. I know the audience (if they watched previous episodes) knows that the peace talks were a genuine gesture from the Separatists, but the Senate hardly knows that. As far as any given Senator knows, the peace talk overture was designed to lull the Republic into a false sense of security. Those that Amidala opposes have extremely valid viewpoints.

Directly after this, a representative from the Kamino cloners suggests that the Republic buy more clones. Can anyone explain to me why it is a good idea to allow corporations direct representation in the Senate? This is just stupid.

Senator Organa objects to this plan, not because it is war profiteering or stupid to take advice on the war from a party that makes more money the longer the war is being waged, but because the Senate is in debt. He wants to know how the troops will be paid for. The Kaminoan representative says that she wants to raise the money, and an indignant Amidala interrupts with a wild accusation that the money would probably come from a bank. What a horrid thought! Who would borrow from an institution that has money and is willing to loan it out? Already a mere one minute and thirty-nine seconds into the episode and the absurdities mount like borrowed credits.

Amidala continues her tirade by pointing out that the attack was designed to destroy the peace process. Well. Yeah. I generally don’t make peace with those who are trying to kill me. I try to kill back. Amidala is meant to represent a strong, forward thinking woman dedicated to peace. She sounds (and acts) like a total idiot. I mean a gibbering, senseless idiot. The only thing that Amidala says that is intelligent is that not every Separatist wants further war.

But, before the Senator’s one shred of logic can be explored, Count Dooku appears before the Senate to blame them for an attack that killed the Separatist Senator who was leading the peace process. And nobody checks with anybody in the military to see who launched the attack, why, or even if it was the Grand Army of the Republic. There is zero investigation. The Senate just accepts Dooku’s word. And he is the enemy. Who is writing this? Can I have their job? This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and each second the episode continues is another opportunity for something dumb to occur or be said.

I know that this is supposed to be primarily a kid’s show, but if so, it is child abuse. I wouldn’t want my child anywhere near something this stupid. I want to them consuming intelligent entertainment, not mindless drivel.

I will skip ahead to the scene that made me write this post in the first place.

Amidala’s plan to defeat the deregulation of the bank’s hinges on her belief that plunging the Senate deeper into debt would bring about an inability to meet the basic needs of the Republic’s citizens. In a Republic formed by thousands of planets, I find this very hard to believe. I will illustrate with an interview Amidala carries out with her handmaiden, Tekla.

Amidala wonders why no one listens to her (as if it weren’t obvious) and Tekla says that it is because Amidala really listens to people, “people like me” (15:37). Never mind that Tekla is indistinguishable from any other handmaiden Amidala has ever had, and is paid (?) to be there and wait on Amidala hand and foot as if she were still the Queen. Tekla abruptly turns to go, as if she fears the wrath of Amidala for speaking when not spoken to. Seriously, that is exactly how that appears. But, Amidala, judging by the look on her face, stops her because Tekla may just be the leverage Amidala needs to sway the Senate. She then asks Tekla about her family. Because it is politically helpful, not because she seems to really care.

Tekla says “they are fine” but that isn’t quite what Amidala needs, so the Senator rephrases “how is the war affecting them?” to which Tekla says “it isn’t easy” (15:59). Amidala still isn’t getting the answers she wants, so she pumps her handmaiden for information. Apparently, revealed later during Amidala’s speech, Tekla “lives in a district without electricity or running water…her children can now only bathe once every two weeks…and they have no light by which to read, or study at night” (19:34). Really? The aide to a Senator from Naboo lives without electricity and running water? REALLY? How is Amidala that callous that she lives in a top floor penthouse suite and is waited on by someone without access to basic utilities? Does she, or the government of Naboo, not pay Tekla enough so that she can afford to live somewhere better, like Naboo, that is verdant, green, and covered with enough water that the planet core is full of it?

Oh. Wait…Amidala explains that it isn’t her responsibility because “the Republic has always funded these services” (19:43). What? The Republic pays the utility bill for the entire galaxy? How has it not collapsed 990 years before this? Furthermore, Amidala blatantly exploits the squalid life of her slave in order to win votes to further her agenda. No, really, that is exactly what happens.

This. Does. Not. Make. Any. Sense.

To recap: not only does Amidala appear to be an opportunistic idiot who exploits people, but her female handmaiden is little more than a slave, and apparently has the housing to match. How are these empowered women? Am I supposed to have these be the role models for my nieces?

But Dave Filoni and the writers on the Clone Wars want the viewers to believe that Amidala is good, and that this speech is a rousing example of heroism — just listen to the steadily rising music behind Amidala and examine the way the scene is filmed (with blatant overuse of electricity which could be powering lights for Tekla’s children to read by). I don’t care if a war is on. Nothing ever seen in the Star Wars galaxy, or reality, leads me to believe that this is true or could ever happen.

I try to give George Lucas the benefit of the doubt when it comes to his movies, but I know that for the rest of the Star Wars expanded universe, he is more benefactor than controller, and therefore he is only loosely associated with much of what happens on the Clone Wars show in particular, and the universe in general. So, I don’t blame him, but I do blame whoever approves the Clone Wars scripts. I honestly believe you have to not care, or work very hard, to screw up this badly, and I don’t know which I prefer or suspect.

Bad Writing is all around us. And it hurts.