I’ve stopped sleeping. Not entirely, you understand, just during the morning hours when I was wont to take a one or two hour nap. Napping has been killing my productivity, my energy, and my ability to Get Shit Done. The thing was, I felt exhausted in the morning, sometimes depressed or bored. So I’d lay down around 0930 or so and sleep until 1130 or so. It became a strong daily habit and has persisted for a year or more.
Before I had a chance to see my doctor, I talked to the other person in my life whose medical advice I trust. My mother recommended that I quit napping pretty much cold turkey, and try to power through. She also suggested a few lifestyle changes, such as trading my traditional bran flake breakfast for eggs and a bagel, and trying to get a little exercise when I felt fatigued. You know, to get the blood flowing?
My doctor then confirmed that my mother’s advice was solid, and also suggested I check in with a sleep doctor to ensure that nothing else is going on. I haven’t yet had a chance to see the slumber doc, but my mom’s advice is working like gangbusters. It has been four days, and I haven’t taken a single two hour nap like I used to. I did have a half hour snooze on Saturday, but in my defense, it was a lazy Saturday morning.
I started my new routine with the help of my wife who was kind enough to make a scrambled egg breakfast on Friday and Saturday, and I did feel like I had more energy the rest of the mornings. I have already completed a few items that have been on my To-Do list for a very long time. Today, Sunday, I have felt pretty great all day.
It is amazing to me, but I never tried to sack the Sandman before. Learned helplessness is, simply put, a real condition in which someone doesn’t believe that they can, so they don’t even attempt. I don’t know if what I have been experiencing with this sleep-full-ness thing is learned helplessness as clinically diagnosed, but it sure fits the circumstances of my experience. I’ve had a variety of theories as to why I’ve been constantly exhausted, and needing to sleep, and it frustrated me greatly, but I never even tried to do anything about it. I didn’t try to not sleep, and until now, I never tried to get help.
I can only point to my last post (read it here) and the feeling I had when I was writing it that I wanted to change. That feeling was so strong, that it must have triggered something dormant. Whatever it was, it gave me the gumption to try something new. I am shocked at how quickly the change has occurred, and how differently I already feel. I am excited for the week ahead and what it will bring if I am able to continue my new direction.
I am so glad that I did pursue getting help and reaching out. Sometimes all it takes is making that first step. After that, the next few steps are even easier. And then you are off and running. I may stumble once or twice, but that’s ok. It is about the onward trajectory. Like Samwise Gamgee told Frodo Baggins in Return of the King, when they stood upon the precipice of Mordor with the Plains of Gorgoroth between them and Mount Doom: “Let’s just make it down the hill, for starters.” Sage words from a brave little hobbit. Hobbits have always been known for their (so-called) simple wisdom, and I am taking this bit to heart. It is more profound than I first imagined.
Sorry, Sandman, but this denizen of dreams is packing up for more wakeful pastures. Overall, I think I will be healthier, more productive (something I have wanted for a long time), and better off all ‘round. Sure, the odd nap may be necessary here and there, but I am ready to swear off consistent daytime sleeping for good!
a simple man 