In a few short hours I will turn a calendar page and with it, a new age: thirty-five. I am quite liking my thirties as I approach their half-way point. It is amazing to me that I have reached this milestone of ages, and not just because covid or other darker forces could have abruptly ended my life on this planet. Life itself is a continual wonder. I often ponder how much time I have to live, and if things are equal, I may live to seventy or even eighty. If so, I have more time to be alive than I have already lived, and that thought is an incredible thought.
With longevity in mind, I have been working out, to try to give myself a good chance of healthily making it to a more senior age. I don’t know, genetics may play as strong a role in that pursuit, but it certainly can’t hurt to be more active. I am also continually working on my mental health, to make living as great an experience as it can be. I have my hobbies, projects, and life pursuits. I previously spoke about how my experience with covid lent me new perspective, and has given me a bit of purpose in life that I was lacking previously.
I am working on many projects just in 2022, and have the beginnings of plans for 2023. For the first time in my life, I feel that I have things I want to accomplish. I published a book of poetry, and that is just the beginning of my endeavors. I would like to write more on purpose, and maybe do a themed book of poetry instead of a mere collection. I am still kicking around the idea of a podcast, and have what I think is a niche I can fill. I want to have fun with photography, and may even return to a lifelong pursuit of LEGO joy. I don’t know. I have, potentially, many years to explore old loves and discover new ones.
Just today, as I celebrated my birthday and my sister’s birthday, I took time to be present and enjoy my sister’s daughters. My nieces are still quite new to this thing called life, and seeing their unfettered happiness and exuberance for each discovered thing is quite refreshing. They are so fun to observe. They make me “feel young, as when the world was new”, as Dr. Carol Marcus once said. I love them so much, and not least for the perspective they impart.
I often laugh at my dogs, who more than any of us, I believe, live in an eternal now. Duncan is so dumb, but so happy much of the time. He just soaks up love and each thing that happens with seeming sublime contentment. He lives for walks, and dinner, and pets, and scratching his back in the dirt and fresh cut grass. Cassie is a little more aware, but still snuggles deep in blankets to sleep without a care, and lick (her love language, it seems) and cuddle when I sleep, and frolic when the mood strikes her. I could learn much from them about living for the present and not being stressed about how much life I have to live, or what is past or yet to be.
As I reflect on that prologue of thirty-four years, and that epilogue of a hoped for forty-five plus years, I know that my fears pertaining to existence are perhaps vestigial evolutionary traits meant to keep me alive in a much more primeval world. In this supposedly modern 21st century world, it seems more distracting than anything. I don’t want to no longer exist, but I also don’t want to be so pre-occupied with existential mortality that I forget to live, as do my nieces, or my furry companions. I want to be mindful of what it is to breathe and move along the river of time. Captain Picard encouraged us that “time is a companion”, one that reminds everyone to cherish each moment, because “it will never come again”.
As I move from thirty-four to thirty-five, I don’t want it to simply be another number, I want it to be an intentional step from what was to what will be along the road of what is, the road that never ends until it does, and none of us has any idea when that will be. That is partly terrifying, exciting, wonderful, frenetic, and freeing. I can make my future whatever I want it to be, so I better “make it a good one” as Doc Brown implored.
I am happy to be thirty-four becoming thirty-five, and I can’t wait to see what the rest of 2022, and the beginning of 2023, has in store. I know there is much war, pain, disease, and darkness in the world. But, oh my, it is full of peace, tranquility, vitality, and light as well. And while it is my mission to reduce the former and enlarge the latter, it is also right and good to live as much as I am able along the way. After all, “all you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you” as Gandalf teaches. I quote him often, as he is full of down-to-earth wisdom. My mentors, fictional or physical, often resound within my skull, reminding me of what I so often forget: that life is to be lived. So live I shall.
Thank you thirty-four, and each year prior. You have taught and served me well. Thank you for your lessons, your wisdom, and your many adventures. I can’t wait for a new year. Stan Lee often shouted: “Excelsior!” Onward indeed. Thirty-five awaits…
a simple man 