One of my dogs is sleeping, buried in a couch pillow next to me. The other is resting his head on the couch cushion, begging me to pet him. Occasionally, I oblige with a few rubs. My wife relaxes in the recliner, working on a crotchet project. Warm, late evening sun is making the closed blinds on the window glow with golden light. Behind me, the air conditioning whooshes cool air into the house. It is a peaceful evening that ends the week of hell.
It all started last Sunday, when a friend of our housemate came to stay with us for one night that turned into two, and was a stay fraught with stress. She turned out to be manipulative, and while I am still not sure what her endgame was, she wanted to take more than we could give her, and we ended up needing to force her out of our house. I don’t blame my housemate at all, she had no idea who this person really was. On it’s own, it was a two-day event that one could move on from, but it turned out to be only the beginning.
The next day, Tuesday, our water heater ruptured. The tank sprouted a bump on the back that began to leak whenever we used the water, despite having turned off the heater and shut off water to the tank. Cold water, as it turned out, was still circulating through and filling the tank, causing it to leak out of the rupture. Fortunately we had picked up some free puppy pads, and among other uses, they are extremely absorbent and managed to sop up the leaking water.
My wife and I didn’t have the ready money to replace the water heater, and thought we had enough of a limit on our credit card to cover a new one, though we hate having to carry such a large balance on the card. I shopped around, and eventually settled on using Home Depot. The box home store would provide and deliver not only the heater, but also the plumber to install it. All for double what our credit card balance was. When he told me the final price, my heart skipped a beat. We can’t afford that, I told him, with dread in my soul. I took a copy of the estimate, and was forced to turn him away while I stood staring at our old, slowly leaking water heater. To be clear, for what work needed to be done, the estimate wasn’t exorbitant, it was right on, but we simply didn’t have the required funds to cover it.
It wasn’t too long after this that my wife and I, and our roommate, headed to court for a hearing. A little while ago, our housemate had been talking a walk through the neighborhood when she was suddenly and viciously attacked by a pack of dogs that had broken out of their yard. They chased her down the street, biting again and again, causing grievous bodily harm. It has been a long process of healing for her, and part of that was a hearing to determine whether or not the dogs involved should be put down. My wife and I wanted to support our housemate in her hearing, but that turned out to be a multi-hour affair in which the defendant, who was representing himself, badgered our housemate with questions, argued with the judge, and made a menace of himself in the courtroom. It was altogether exhausting, upsetting, and nerve-wracking. And after turning away the plumber that morning, by the time we all got home from court, what emotional reserves we had were leaking out of our spirits like the water still dripping from the water heater.
In despair that night, my wife and I discussed what to do. None of us had showered, and we were trying to use as little water as possible for other things so as to minimize the leaking. We called family and friends, but were unable to secure any funding. Finally, our housemate came through. She has been helping us throughout her stay with rent, though there is no formal agreement between us. She has been faithful to help with the mortgage payment, and we have been as family to her. She offered to pre-pay the next several months of her contribution, through no obligation of hers, and it was exactly what we needed to offset the extra cost of the installation. I called Home Depot that minute and rescheduled.
But that day was not yet over. The man who owned the dogs, who badgered our housemate on the witness stand, who has threatened neighbors, civil servants, and been a public menace, came to our house. He was standing outside for fifteen minutes before we knew he was there, swearing and muttering to himself. We have a Ring doorbell and caught footage of the event. We retreated to a back room and called the police. While at the courthouse, we had been escorted by a Marshall to our car, even after this man left (he was free of charges, and free to recover one dog – the rest were ordered destroyed). We feared retaliation, and thought this was it. However, the man left of his own accord, though was walking down the street when the police arrived. They strongly encouraged him to leave us be, and threatened him with criminal trespassing charges should he ever be caught stepping foot on our property again. Our housemate and my wife were thoroughly shook up and frightened, though we went to bed safely.
The next morning, after trial, tribulation, and trying house guests, we finally crested the wave of difficulty. The plumber returned Thursday morning to complete the installation of a new water heater. I worked from home on my laptop while he did his job. It was the quietest, most professional work we have yet had in our journey of needful home repairs and improvements. My wife had returned to work, and our housemate went to a friend’s house to shower and study. Good news was ahead yet: while at work, the chaplain of the university at which my wife and I work, presented her with a check for the amount of money we put on the credit card to cover the water heater. Between an Emergency Fund that we didn’t know about, and our housemate’s generosity, we could buy the heater without incurring a heavy balance on our credit. With that blessing, the rest of that day passed mostly without incident – until evening.
That evening my wife and I had a spat. The tip of the moment was a small dispute, but it really was the outpouring of emotion from our week of hell. We ended up having a long, intimate talk, expelling many frustrations, fears, and feelings. It had been coming for a long time, and was a cathartic release when it finally happened.
Yesterday, Friday, was the first normal day we experience since the previous Sunday. Surprisingly, nothing terrible happened. It was quiet at work when I went in for a few hours, while my wife stayed home for some peace and tranquility with our dogs and her yarn. Today, another workman came to examine our washing machine, which has developed a nasty thumping on the spin cycle. Turns out it needs a few parts replaced, and that will happen next Tuesday afternoon. I spent the morning watching some videos on YouTube from Adam Savage, former Mythbuster turned Maker extraordinaire. I then installed a new security camera outside the house to give us further peace of mind, and evidence should our neighbor come calling again. My wife and I have spent the day quietly (I went to Home Depot for some crafting supplies) and this evening we had a nice dinner and watched a TV show.
Tomorrow, I hope for more of the same: a quiet, relaxing day. I wish to work on some diorama pieces for my toy photography, and take it easy. I hope my wife will do something that brings her joy as well. Together we may just endure whatever is over the horizon. If it be maladjusted, I trust it will be slow in coming. We could use a break from the horrible just now.
I know many people struggle, and there is much evil in the world, and shit happens, but usually you don’t get all of it in such a short period of time. I relate this week from hell, not for sympathy or pity, but for myself, to put in place what has been. It is usually said that one has survived everything that happens to them, from birth to the present moment, yet without expiration, and how true that is. Nothing has been bad enough to kill me yet, and everything past is prologue to the next day. I feel strong to confront it because of the scars and muscles I now bear. Life shouldn’t be this way. Men shouldn’t raise aggressive animals with cattle prods. Needful repairs shouldn’t cost you more money than you have. Your house and neighborhood should be safe places for you to take a walk and relax while watching a baseball game, or crotcheting, or petting your dog. But sadly that often isn’t reality, and so we endure and search for the zen where we can find it.
Maybe we will have peace for a while now. I know we will at least have hot water and squirrel’s eye view of the neighborhood around our house. And we will keep going. We can hold to the love we have for each other, my wife, myself, and our housemate, and our families and friends. And that is stronger than any evil or maliciousness that would stalk from without. And that is an encouraging thought. In time, it is the little acts of love and kindness that keeps the darkness at bay, and we have that more than a dragon has treasure.
a simple man 