I finally snapped my streak of writing at least twice a month on this blog. In July of 2021, I wrote an incredible eight posts, and ever since have managed two or more. Last month I only wrote one. I am a little sad that I didn’t manage to keep that streak alive longer, but as they say in baseball “a new streak starts today”.
It is once again early morning while I write this, with the sun not yet awake. Why I am awake is a mystery. I wish I could ever figure out my sleeping patterns, or lack thereof, and manage good sleep in my life. Seems not to be. Mostly I do ok, but every so often, I just don’t sleep well. Conscious of bothering my wife with tossing and turning, I get out of bed and come over to the craft room to browse social media or whatnot. Sometimes, like today, I break out my keyboard and write.
What to tell you today? I recently re-watched You’ve Got Mail, the 90’s rom-com with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, and sometimes I feel like the pair of them, writing anonymously to each other. I don’t know who reads this blog, aside from my mother, so I imagine I am writing to a friend, out there in cyberspace, who is waiting to read my words once again. Hello, to you, out there.
I guess what is on my mind is this business of “failure”. Like my streak of writing on my blog, I have failed two other endeavors that I was working on, or meant to: a photography project and a writing project. I had been working through a 52 Week Challenge photographically, in which I would follow a prompt and take a picture every week. For awhile I did so consistently, but then I would fall behind and catch up a few weeks at a time. At present I am six or so weeks behind, and can’t find it within myself to catch up again. I have called time of death on that project, and have set it aside.
Second endeavor is a book that my wife started, on how to write, like a “Couch to 5k” but instead of meters, it’s words. She has wanted me to proofread and punch up the prose, and I meant to do it in the summer, but as I’ve written about, the summer got away from us, and then I meant to do it this fall, but I haven’t, and now it is December. I despair that I shall do it before the holidays, and this year the holidays will be full of family and cheer.
What do I do with failure? First, I don’t see it that way. I am certain I have touched on this before here, but failure or quitting, to me, isn’t a negative. It is simply a status, like at the beginning of a project, or a relationship. I am “it’s complicated” with my endeavors, and so I’ve decided to move from something that has served me before, and isn’t serving me now, to things that will.
There is absolutely no shame in abandoning something that no longer serves. There is all the futility, in fact, in continuing something that will not work. And futility is not something I need in life. Like trying to sleep when I am not somnolent, I go somewhere else and do something else. I may go back to bed at some point, or return to a project, but walking away when restless and finding a state of rest elsewhere is healthy.
I am happy with what I accomplished with the photography project. I took a few photos that I am really pleased with, that delight me, and a few I want to revisit at some point and retake to improve upon. Everything is inspiration to me for future creative projects. With my wife’s book, at this point, I still want to work on it, and the time will come. If she remains patient with me, I will get there, I just don’t know when right now.
I lay aside one, or a few things, and pick up something new. The blog continues today, I will always take pictures, and words flow when words flow. Sleep will embrace me once more, of this I am certain, until the forever sleep that comes for us all eventually blankets me. But I’ve not earned that, so I will stay awake and stay creative.
To you, out there, whoever you are, stay creative and stay healthy. Don’t pursue that which doesn’t serve what you need, and don’t be afraid to say “I failed” or “I quit”. Moving on is healthy, inevitable, and can be invigorating. I’m excited for what will come next for me this weekend, this December, and in the new year 2023.
a simple man 