Shiny and new has its place, but more than anything, a good project with recycled materials is something special. I love building things out of cardboard boxes, scraps of materials that I’ve scrounged, or spare parts. This is less about physical making, and more about psychological reclamation.
As a kid, I remember being obsessed with Charles Schulz’s “Peanuts” comic. I loved Snoopy in particular, and his adventures with his little yellow fowl friend Woodstock. Of course the whole gang is charming: Charlie Brown’s hapless baseball team that can never seem to win; Schroeder avoiding Lucy; Linus with his blanket and philosophy; and all the rest. A while back, despite how much I loved Peanuts, my brother claimed them as his thing and I’ll admit that I let that rob my joy for the comic. Clearly a me problem, it nonetheless rubbed me the wrong way for too long.
Recently, I was in Half Price Books and found a volume of the Complete Peanuts from the 50’s, and was struck by how much I loved the strip. I bought it, and since then have been contemplating how to acquire the rest of the collection. I’ve been reading through a volume that includes ‘87-‘88 (my birth year) and have found many dailies that I have never read. More than individual comics, I have reclaimed my love of Snoopy and it is bringing me so much happiness.
In another vein, for my entire childhood, I built and played with LEGO. Pretty much every day, I was sorting, tweaking, or lost in imaginary worlds built out of the little plastic bricks. Twice in my adulthood I sold my entire collection on eBay. Once, it was at the memory of my ex-wife’s disdain for the hobby. The second time I felt like I needed the money. Both times I tried to make the best of it, but internally, I was very unhappy about the sales. I felt I was losing a part of myself.
In the past few years, I have started to rebuild my LEGO collection. I am doing it with a bit more intention this time, but the promise I made to myself when I started buying was to never sell my collection again. I am feeling the old joy I used to have, and getting back into the mental space of making my own creations. I am noticing some rust on my concentration and abilities, but it is coming back to me piece by piece.
In these ways, and others, I am my own reclamation project. I am taking bits of myself I have lost, and putting them back into my life in intentional ways. It wasn’t my brother or my ex-wife to really blame for my brokenness, it was me. I let myself crumble to other’s opinions, proclivities, or my own circumstances. But now it is time to reclaim things long gone, and add them to new hobbies, new loves, and assemble a new amalgamation of me.
I used to think, and say, that I didn’t have regrets, but now I realize that life isn’t about avoiding regret, that is inevitable, but life is about learning to let regret motivate me to something better. I regret losing my childhood LEGO, but I am motivated to curate a great collection that I can enjoy for years. I regret letting my brother’s love for Peanuts steal mine, but I, too, can enjoy Snoopy and the gang into the future. I am done living by others’ rules or opinions, and letting it steer my ship into shoals I never wanted to sail. Going forward, I want to set my own course towards sunrises I want to see.
a simple man 