A Haiku and Other Poems

Here follows a few poems I wrote over the summer, just for fun.

The first two poems I wrote while in traffic on my way to my summer job. I composed them in my head from a few images that came to me as I merged my way to my exit and wrote them down once I had safely parked. Of those two, the first is about a supercar in traffic, a concept I find endlessly amusing and a little bit sad, like a caged animal that deserves to be running free. I give you

Pent Up Rage

TwelV horses
Nowhere to race
Supercar in traffic

The second is a proper haiku about brake lights. For your consideration

Brakelite Haiku

Blinky red asses
Off and on the grey freeway
Little metal ‘flys

Next comes a poem that I wrote while in a local coffee shop called The White Rhino. I was struck by the seeming hipster-ness of it all, and was also contemplating the social justice warrior movement. Included herein are a play-on-lyrics, a reference to a video game, and well, here is

SJWs

The White Rhino watches
Over mocha choca lattes
And lonely hipsters who first
Saw the waves breaking over Dawn
Rifles clutched tightly
Ready to battle the better beasts
Of industry and backward progress
As if they themselves had come
From another era, man buns
Wound tight to ward off the right
A new wave
Of social justice warriors

And last, but not least, a baseball poem based on a William Carlos Williams poem about some rainwater, chickens, and a red wheelbarrow. There is, above the infield, a

Pop up

So much depends upon a white baseball
In the blue, blue sky
Plopping into
brown

leather

So there you have a few poems. I love them, like fragile little butterfly children that I release into the harsh winter air. Be kind to them.

The Hope

I just left my local cinema, having seen Rogue One: A Star Wars Story for the second time and I loved it just as much the second viewing. This was the first Star Wars film not to be an official episode, that is, an installment in the saga of the Skywalker family, and thus is a stand-alone film, however, it flows into Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope so well it may as well be an extended prologue to that legacy film. If you wish to avoid spoilers, you can stop reading now. Otherwise…venture once again into that galaxy far, far away…

rogueone-banner

Rogue One begins without an opening crawl, which is a bit jarring, since that is the Star Wars to which we have grown accustomed. However, the beautiful shots of space and Director Krennic’s shuttle quickly take hold and the film is begun and it hardly seems to matter. Small title screens give the location at which each bit of action takes place, so the viewer is never lost in space, however, just a little context would have been welcome to begin the film. I admit that this is a small criticism.

The film follows the journey of young Jyn Erso, left abandoned by her family at a young age and raised by a Rebel zealot. She eventually becomes useful to the larger Rebel Alliance, and is asked to make contact with her surrogate father in order to authenticate a message from her real father. That message is true, and it seems the Empire has built a super weapon, code name: Death Star, that can destroy entire planets, however the elder Erso, a secret Rebel, built within it a fatal flaw that only a thorough examination of the technical plans will reveal. Those plans must be stolen from an Imperial archive at all costs to prevent the reign of terror the Emperor is eager to unleash.

The characters in this Star Wars story are compelling, real, and interesting, from Captain Andor, his sassy K-2S0 droid, and a rag-tag group of Rebel agents that include a semi-Force aware Guardian of the Whills. So diverse and different is this group that it is amazing that they even work together, much less pull off the greatest heist in the history of the Star Wars galaxy, but succeed they do. Sort of. I mean, they win the day, but they all die. Every last one of them.

That is part of what makes this film special. Not a single one of these characters is to be heard from again, so their fate is ambiguous from the very beginning. Darth Vader makes an off-hand remark as to their deaths in the Star Wars novelization, but in the films proper there is no mention as to the brave Rebels who stole the Death Star plans, just that they were “provided by Princess Leia” which is at once true and inaccurate. Therefore, the tension mounts for each and every one as their deaths are perhaps certain, but not predictable. How they die is as important as how they live, and is a culmination of their own personal journeys.

Darth Vader appears, as do several characters from A New Hope, and none unnecessarily. Half recast (James Earl Jones again provides the voice of Vader) the Sith Lord intimidates Krennic at a crucial point, also motivating him to fulfill his villainous role in the film. Vader also reappears at the end to mop up the Rebel fleet and almost reclaim the Death Star plans before a brave Rebel soldier is there to stop him from doing so. Much less than the absurd Yoda fight in Attack of the Clones, Vader here does fight, but in a controlled and subdued manner that doesn’t conflict with anything he is shown doing in the original trilogy in tone or manner. He is devastating and unstoppable both with lightsaber and the Force.

The other characters from A New Home are Red and Gold Leaders, resurrected via found film footage cleverly spliced into the Rogue One footage, and Governor Tarkin and Princess Leia herself.* Tarkin is brought to life via body-double CGI and while the uncanny valley is alive and well, the effect is successful as a cold and calculating villain to Director Krennic and the Rebel beyond. Leia appears in less than 30 seconds or so at the end in the same way, and as such is much less jarring. Only because we see Tarkin walk and talk and intimidate are we able to see through the digital facade and realize that what we are seeing isn’t real.

I appreciated the level of detail that was brought to this film, through hair and makeup, wardrobe and costuming, and set design to emulate the look of the original trilogy and the time period in which it was created. 70’s styling and color pallets are evident, as is practical effects work and location scouting to match or even duplicate locations from the first film. So many little details are there to be found and enjoyed, but my favorite is two ill-fated stormtroopers on Scarif talking about a new model of speeder that was released, nearly identical dialogue to two troopers on the Death Star when Kenobi is tinkering with the tractor beam that holds the Millennium Falcon hostage. At once a call-back, foreshadowing, and a simply fantastic bit of universe appropriate dialogue. (Those must have been some exciting speeders to get multiple troops excited.)

Lastly, the music is majestic, being the first score not composed by John Williams (done instead by Michael Giacchino) but quoting and referencing Williams’ scores when thematically necessary and sonically appropriate.

I completely enjoyed the spectacle that is a Star Wars space opera, a heist film, a war picture, and a hero’s journey all rolled into one. Existing as it does apart from and kin to the first ever Star Wars film makes Rogue One no less compelling or able to stand on its own.

 

*Two other characters from A New Hope appear, via creature makeup, and that is the twisted human and unintelligible alien that accost Luke Skywalker in a cantina on Tatooine only to be mutilated by Obi-Wan Kenobi. Fan service much? While Tarkin, Rebel pilots, and even Leia are important to the plot, these two are pure cameo. Nice, but why those two? It cracked me up, but also took me out of the story for a minute. Ultimate reaction: a shrug and a smile.

A Tale of Two Parts

Part the First

This is difficult for me to write. Yesterday, January 3rd, would have been my seventh wedding anniversary had I not been divorced. Unlike a spouse who died and is no longer upon the planet Earth, I am dealing with a different kind of loneliness. It is the loneliness of no longer being wanted. I know, approximately, where my ex-wife is, and approximately, what she is doing. And that hurts, because she isn’t here, and she isn’t with me. Once upon a fairy tale time, she was right by my side doing what I was doing, or I was by her side, doing what she was doing. We were together. But now she is beside someone else, and they are doing things together. And that hurts spectacularly.

I don’t know what the time period is supposed to be for getting over a spousal rejection, but I am apparently not there yet as I still memorialize a coupling that has uncoupled. I am sure I will get there at some point, but in the meantime, I am stumped by a simple question: now that she has moved on and put me behind her and someone else beside her, I am a free man. I am as if I was never married. That thought gives me some release, some comfort, but what do I do now to anchor that thought in reality? Do I burn all her love letters in a massive bonfire of dead desire? Do I delete all our pictures and digital memories as if scorching cyberspace? Do I forget her name and erase her influence from my life? Is such a thing even possible? I signed up for eternity. I was hers forever…until I wasn’t. I don’t know what to do.

Except, maybe I do know. I will do what I have done since the first noniversary rolled around: keep moving forward.

Part the Second

It is a brand new year, an entity I am calling twenty17. Thus far in my life I have mostly eschewed this whole idea of “New Year’s Resolutions” in which one is hereby resolved by the arbitrary Gregorian calendar to radically change one’s life in some way. It has seemed like so much hokum to think that just because some number has rolled over on a time keeping device, one is now able to change their life. In my nearly 30 years of experience, I haven’t seen that to be particularly possible. But here I am, about to resolve something on so public a forum as to not be ignored.

I resolve two things, first: to read more. I was a voracious reader in my youth. You would often find me curled up on the couch, or stretched out on a bed with book in hand, eagerly flipping pages, absorbing content like the proverbial sponge absorbs water. In the last few years, my reading has slackened pace to have almost stopped completely. The only reading ritual that continues is my annual reading of the Hobbit, the Lord of the Rings, and the Silmarillion. Even that reading has become less a pleasure and more a chore. But I want to regain the magic of reading, and that means actually reading again. Part and parcel with my goal of reading more is to actually find a local library and get a library card so that I might read to my heart’s contentment.

Secondly may it be resolved: to write more. I used to be a prolific writer, at least one who wrote semi often about current events or currently occurring thoughts. However, as can be seen from a perusal of the right hand column on this blog labeled “archives”, there is a gap from 2015 to 2017 in which I didn’t write anything. This I want to remedy. I won’t resolve to write every day, or even every week, but I do promise to write at least once a month. So far, I am doing spectacularly as this will be my second long form essay in this month alone. Go me!

Part the Epilogue

Hereby it can be seen that these two parts join together. In leaving behind one form of life, I pick up another, and move forward. And that perhaps is the answer. Hannah, I sincerely hope, will live a long and happy life, and thus we may even cross paths again in the future. The only way I live life with that knowledge and survive that eventuality with any semblance of me is to create a once and future life that is again mine own.

Excelsior!

As of Yet Untitled

I am frightened that I won’t be any good at this “writing” thing. It’s been over a year since I’ve written anything of note.

I’m terrified. Honestly scared. I am frightened that I won’t be any good at this “writing” thing. It’s been over a year since I’ve written anything of note. Sure, I’ve penned a few poems in recent months, but the last time I wrote something longer form was just after The Force Awakens was released in theaters in 2015.

I have an image in my mind’s eye. I stand upon a precipice, about to fall over. One wrong step, and I plummet to my death. I should be staring at the setting sun, watching the moon rise and the stars appear, but instead my gaze is locked on the long dark below me. Inside my shoes, my toes are desperately curling, trying in vain to clamp on to the narrow ledge in front.

This image represents my fear of failure. It has been so strong it has kept me from writing for over a year. I don’t know where exactly it came from, what manifested it inside my brain, but it has been there: lurking.

I have many things I want to write about: Rogue One, Passengers, the untimely death of a princess turned general, my not-7th wedding anniversary, the passing of the most logical being in the galaxy, a few new year’s resolutions, all the death and gloom that was twenty16, and the list continues. But I have been afraid. Afraid that my opinion is not valid, afraid that I won’t have the words, afraid of what she will think, afraid to memorialize too late, afraid to say the wrong thing…afraid.

The abyss rises to grab me.

I had an interesting experience this evening. I am still not sure what it was I saw, but as I was locking my door, on my way out to pick up dinner, I saw something out of the corner of my eye, something dark and shadowy that disappeared behind the corner of the house as soon as I focused on it. I don’t put faith in ghosts or apparitions, though because of medication that I take I have been known to hallucinate from time to time, except only when I don’t take it. I thought about what I saw all during the drive out and back. Initially, I was spooked. I had no idea what I had I seen, if I had in fact seen anything, and that unknowning, that uncertainty scared me a little. I’m a grown man, almost 30, in fact, and I am not given to remaining afraid. Except…

Except I haven’t written in over a year out of sheer bloody panic.

In the end I decided, on my way home, that what I had seen was the coattail of my future time traveling self ducking out of the way so that I wouldn’t see myself and thereby destroy the space time continuum. (Or pass out from shock.) Instantly, I was unafraid.

And here I am writing. It still took me a few more hours of mindless mobile Scrabble and Ticket to Ride before I pulled myself off my bed and settled down in front of my laptop to actually put one word after another. And somewhere, in my head, in my heart, deep in the outer rim of my soul, I am still afraid. But I cannot let that fear stop me from doing what I love and that is to write. So I will write. I will write about Carrie Fisher, Leonard Nimoy, my ex-wife, movies that I have fallen in love with, what I have resolved this new year, the late twenty-teens and so on.

I am stronger than my fear. I back from the ledge to catch the last few rays of sunlight fading into twilight blue. I write.

The Awakening

Palpable was the excitement of going to see Star Wars Epsiode I: The Phantom Menace in the spring of 1999. I distinctly remember riding in the back seat of my father’s car, driving along the highway towards our local theater. I remember sitting on the end seat, next to him, and my brother on the other side of my father as the lights of the theater dimmed and the opening crawl floated up the screen. Despite my high excitement, disappointment followed. I was twelve years old then, and had grown up watching the original Star Wars trilogy so many times that my first experience with Star Wars had long been forgotten. It seems I had always loved watching Star Wars.

It is now nearly the end of 2015, and with it a new era has been born. Unless you’ve been hiding out on Dagobah with a broken holonet receiver, you know that the sequel trilogy has been launched with Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. I’ve seen it twice now, once in regular old two dimensions, and once in IMAX 3D. If you want to stop reading now to avoid spoilers on the story, I will simply say this: it was better than the prequels and a true Star Wars film full of the space adventure and fantasy we’ve come to love from that galaxy far, far away…

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What has made the Star Wars universe great and has allowed it to endure for generations are the iconic, memorable characters. From the beginning of The Force Awakens, we receive terrific new characters that I believe will live on in the zeitgeist of the world consciousness just as have the original characters from the original Star Wars.

Right away we are introduced to the first non-human character that will drive a large portion of the film as a Macguffin and that is the orange and white ball droid BB-8. Early on in the marketing and releases about The Force Awakens we saw BB-8 and I must admit I was less than impressed. I thought the robot was overly cute, and was attached to my nostalgia for R2-D2 and C-3P0. But from those first few moments on screen, BB-8 captured my attention in exactly the same way Artoo and Threepio did in the beginning of Star Wars. Moments later we meet Po Dameron, the heroic and dashing X-wing pilot and Kylo Ren, the angry, yet strangely compelling new Dark Lord. At this point, I got caught up in the story and the film, and wondered where these characters would take me. Again, early on, as these characters were revealed, I thought that Kylo Ren in particular was trying too hard to be the new Darth Vader, but seeing him on the big screen, as the story unfolded, I saw an angry, hurting young man trying desperately to live up to a legacy he admired, albeit for all the wrong reasons. As the film progressed we were introduced to the main characters, Rey and Finn the defecting stormtrooper. Rey is a simple human living in the literal shadow of a decades old galactic war, scavenging for survival and awaiting her future. Finn is rejecting the only life he has ever known and seeking a way to freedom. Both meet up, and the adventure really gets going as they steal a familiar piece of space garbage and outrace the new Empire: the First Order. Reintroducing the Millennium Falcon and previous owners Han Solo and Chewbacca was less a slavish devotion to past glories, but an acknowledgement of the age of the universe and the passage of time. Things move on from our lives and sometimes old friends return in unexpected ways. Later we meet Leia Organa, less princess and more general, and even she feels like a totally new character. She is no longer young and feisty, but now strong and resolute with the burning fervor of conviction and experience. I loved the thousand year old Maz and her little cantina on a backwater world, her unexpected wisdom and yet shadowy side as someone who hung out with the dregs and downcast. She was the dark mirror to Yoda, ancient and wise and somehow a young outlaw on the back edge of the galaxy. All of these new characters immediately became as interesting and compelling to me as the droid duo, Luke Skywalker, Ben Kenobi and Yoda, and Han Solo from Star Wars. I desperately wanted to know their stories and follow them on their adventures.

Secondly, the locations hearkened back, in a good way, to the the original trilogy. There was the desolate desert world of Jakku, the ice planet/superweapon of Starkiller Base, the forest world of Takodana, all mirroring Tatooine, Hoth, and Endor. This became a theme to the Force Awakens: revealing the new through the lens of the old. There was the Millennium Falcon given new life as the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy racing along the Jakku dunes and derelict Star Destroyers and the new planet destroying super weapon. Far from drudgingly repeating the past, the new Star Wars gave me quick tutorial in what I already loved, setting me up for something that I will never have imagined in Episodes VIII and IX.

Thirdly, there was plenty of new twists and further revelations of the galaxy far, far away, which is far more vast and old and lived in than I imagined. I loved the brief introduction to other smugglers and outlaws aboard Han’s new freighter, the rathtar beasts Han was transporting, again, hearkening back to Jabba’s den of despicable denizens and the rancor which lurked below. I loved the X-wing/TIE fighter battles, the exchanges of blaster fire, the familiar yet new First Order risen from the ashes of the Empire, Jedi mind tricks, and unexpected stormtrooper humor, no longer clones but real people fighting for a cause they believe in.

I thought the acting in this film was superb, and that is what ultimately won me over to the classic nature of the new Star Wars. Harrison Ford, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver all did fantastic work in breathing into their characters the breath of life. I believed all of them. But the real surprise was the reveal of Luke Skywalker at the end. Mark Hamill communicated so much without saying a single word that I was totally blown away. The shot lingered on his face as he turned to see Rey and what her outstretched arm held and I saw sorrow, pain, recognition, remembrance, resolution and so many more emotions in his eyes. He realized the fullness of what his failure to train Ben Solo had wrought on the galaxy, he acknowledged what his absence fostered in current events, he recognized his lightsaber, and with it the pain of his failure and loss against Darth Vader so long ago, and he made the choice to no longer look to the past but to rejoin the present in hope of a better future with Rey and the Resistance.

Finally, the death of Han Solo, which I completely expected to happen given Harrison Ford’s complicated relationship with the character, was still shocking and emotionally gutting. Here was everything that was awesome, funny, and beloved about the original trilogy being brutally murdered by its own offspring, the sequel trilogy, and the message was clear: despite the winks, the references, and the familiar, this is not your father’s Star Wars anymore. This is a new beast altogether and in the future, nothing is certain. Here the brilliance of Lawrence Kasdan’s writing and JJ Abrams’ direction was shown in full: this was the narrative being constructed below the cool space story above.

I know I just said finally, but I must shoutout to the stellar John Williams and his amazing score. If the special effects and characters are the body of Star Wars, Williams’ music is the soul. One of the greatest composers of our time, Williams brings the best of his genius to underscore every beat of the Force Awakens and I will enjoy his new music just as much as I have loved the original soundtracks.

The Force Awakens is not without it’s flaws, but for every seeming plot hole or convenient occurrence, I am reminded of similar aspects to the films I love: Star Wars, the Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. The original trilogy succeeded on the spectacle, heroics, and characters we loved, not from perfect plotting or consistently complete logic. Star Wars is a space opera, a grand fantasy adventure among the stars, and should be loved as such.

Star Wars: Episode III (Rewritten)

Star Wars
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Opening Crawl

The Clone Wars have almost been won, and Darth Grievous has retreated to hide in the outer rim of the galaxy.

Exhausted from many battles and losses, Kenobi and Skywalker have returned home to Tatooine, where they are living in peace.

That peace is shattered when Yoda and Palpatine call on the legendary Jedi to seek out and destroy Darth Grievous once and for all…

Synopsis

While on Tatooine, Kenobi has retreated to a life of solitude and meditation. Skywalker has married a local woman and is living with her brother, Owen Lars and his wife Beru Whitesun working as moisture farmer. One day, while meditating, Kenobi receives a transmission from Yoda. Darth Grievous has been located on Mustafar. It is Kenobi’s duty, and final task before becoming a Jedi Master, to seek out and destroy the Sith once and for all. Meanwhile, back on Coruscant,  Senator from Alderaan, Bail Organa, hears troubling rumors of Palpatine’s political power and a coming reorganization of the galactic government.

Kenobi travels to the Lars homestead on the other end of the Jundland Wastes and finds Skywalker celebrating his wife’s imminent birthing day. Skywalker tells Kenobi he has given up the Jedi way, being haunted by the ravages of war in visions, but that he wants his son to have his old lightsaber when he is old enough. Kenobi tells Skywalker that Yoda has one final task for the Jedi: seeking out Darth Grievous. Skywalker is reluctant to jump back into war, and his brother-in-law Lars doesn’t think he should get involved in Kenobi’s quest. In the end, Kenobi convinces Skywalker to accompany him. Skywalker bids farewell to his wife, and the old warriors book passage to Coruscant from Mos Eisley.

Once on Coruscant, they meet up with Yoda, who gives them all the information he has, and they cross paths with their old friend Organa and his junior senator, the former Queen Amidala. They hear of President Palpatine’s plans to reorganize the Galactic Republic into a Galactic Empire. Yoda is particularly troubled by this news. With no time to do anything about it, Kenobi and Skywalker leave with an army of clones and conscripts for the Mustafar system to strike at Darth Grievous while Yoda plans to confront the would-be Emperor.

Generals Kenobi and Skywalker arrive at Mustafar and the final battle of the Clone Wars begins. While troops fight an orbital battle, the Jedi invade the stronghold of Grievous. Along the way, Skywalker’s emotional control begins to wane. He is striking out more in anger than from peace, and is letting his aggression lead the way in the fight. Kenobi sees this, and is concerned, but is caught up in battle himself. They fight their way to an inner sanctum where they find the Sith Lord waiting for them.

They inform their enemy that he is under arrest and advise him to order his troops to stand down. Grievous refuses, and sensing Skywalker’s lack of control and inner turmoil, goads the younger Jedi into attacking. During the battle, the Sith constantly entices the young Skywalker to give in to his desires for revenge, his hate of the Sith, and his anger at being forced into war again and embrace the Dark Side of the Force. Kenobi helps in the battle but is constantly trying to counter the Sith, not only in blows, but in ideology. Skywalker wants a quick resolution to the fight and increasingly becomes frustrated that Kenobi seems to want to take the Sith alive. Unable to take it any longer, Skywalker embraces his rage. He knocks Kenobi aside, and engages Grievous on his own. Becoming stronger by the second in the Force, seemingly, he soon overwhelms the Sith general. He disarms him, wounds him, and stands over him. He is about to kill Grievous when Kenobi blocks his lightsaber slash. Anakin, blinded by anger, engages Kenobi. Kenobi tries to appeal to the good in Skywalker and get him to back down, while the wounded Sith appeals to his dark side. Torn between two ideals, two ends to the same goal, and a mentor and a dark advisor, Skywalker becomes increasingly lost. He and Kenobi fight a long, exhausting duel. In the end, Skywalker is gaining the upper hand and now the Sith is enticing him to kill Kenobi. At the final moment, Skywalker slips and falls into a molten pit. Unable to help, Kenobi watches his friend burn. Unable to watch any longer, he retreats from the area, leaving the wounded Sith Lord in the custody of the newly arrived troops. Just after he leaves, Skywalker, using the Force and sheer will, claws his way out of the molten pit. Skywalker’s last act before losing consciousness is to obliterate the Sith Lord in a blast of dark energy. The troops transmit news of the Sith Lord’s demise to the government.

Kenobi arrives on Tatooine and gives the bad news of Anakin’s death to Skywalker’s family. The news shocks her into labor and Beru helps Anakin’s wife deliver a surprise set of twins.

On Coruscant, Palpatine, hearing of the end of the Clone Wars, seizes power as Emperor and reorganizes the Republic into the Galactic Empire. Yoda immediately confronts him, but the Emperor reveals himself as a Sith Master and in a surprise attack nearly kills Yoda. He is about to finish the job when he is interrupted by a cadre of Senators who are outraged about the newly formed Empire, led by Senator Organa. Yoda escapes while the Senators plead with the Emperor to relinquish power to the elected populace. Palpatine rebuffs the Senators and sends them away.

Yoda, hiding out with Senator Organa, contacts Kenobi and reveals the truth of the Sith. Realizing that Anakin’s Force powerful children could be a threat to the Emperor and in danger from him, they decide to hide them. Organa marries Amidala, and they new royal couple adopts Leia as a refugee child. Luke remains on Tatooine as the adopted child of Owen and Beru Lars. Kenobi retreats into the Tatooine desert to live as hermit and protector of young Luke Skywalker.

Yoda flees into exile on Dagobah. Meanwhile, an emergency medical team, and the rest of the Jedi’s army, returns to a hero’s welcome on Coruscant. Anakin Skywalker’s grievous wounds are treated, and his body rebuilt into a fearsome black suit of armor. He is unveiled as Darth Vader, ender of the Clone Wars and hero of the Empire.

End Credits

Star Wars: Episode II (Rewritten)

Star Wars
Episode II: The Clone Wars

Opening Crawl

War! Disaffected systems within the Republic have joined the greedy commerce guilds to form the Confederacy of Separatists in an all out attack on the Republic led by the Sith Lord Darth Grievous.

The Jedi have come forward to lead the Clone Army of the Republic in defending the defenseless, seeking to end the threat of the Sith and the war.

Darth Grievous, in a stunning raid on Coruscant, has kidnapped President Palpatine. The Jedi, and their clone soldiers, scramble to retrieve him before all hope is lost…

Synopsis

Darth Grievous is trying to make his escape with President Palpatine through the city streets of Coruscant from the Senate building into space. In hot pursuit are Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker.  A speeder to speeder chase becomes a ship to ship chase when escapee and pursuers confiscate atmospheric craft and head into the space battle above. After both crash land aboard Grievous’s Super Star Destroyer, Grievous realizes the gambit is up, and while Anakin and Obi-Wan rescue Palpatine, Grievous sets the SSD to self destruct and escapes in the confusion. Kenobi and Skywalker make it off in a shuttle just as the ship explodes.

Back on Coruscant, the Jedi realize the war has begun in earnest as reports of attacks in multiple systems come into the war headquarters. A year passes.

Anakin and Obi-Wan are holed up on Selucemi, holding siege to a city they believe hides Darth Grievous. While the rain falls and skirmishes take lives of Jedi and Clones alike, Kenobi tries to train Anakin in the finer points of the Force. Back on Coruscant a concerned Yoda notices that Palpatine is using the war to amass more power than he should have and is quietly eliminating opposition. On Selucemi, a captured Confederate spy reveals that Grievous is not there, but is in fact on a planet called Geonosis. Kenobi takes Anakin and a squadron of clones to Geonosis.

Anti-aircraft fire shoots down their craft near a seemingly abandoned arena on Geonosis. Hiking through the desert for a few days exhausts their supplies, but the Jedi make it to the arena only to be ambushed by Grievous. Barely managing to hold their own against the Sith Lord, they are relieved when their clone forces show up to reinforce them. Grievous leaves while setting loose three ferocious beasts on the Jedi and their troops. Most of the clones are slaughtered and Anakin and Kenobi barely survive. While fighting, Anakin’s barely restrained emotions fray and he nearly gives into the Dark Side. His blast of dark energy levels the arena, but he almost immediately regrets his outburst as he breaks down over the death of his comrades. Meanwhile on Coruscant, Yoda confronts Palpatine about how he is running the government in a time of war. Palpatine seems to acquiesce but Yoda remains unconvinced of his sincerity.

Three years pass, and now Anakin is in charge of his own group of clones, a starfighter squadron above the Wookiee home world Kashyyyk. Kenobi is on the planet’s surface. Together they try to repel a sudden invasion by the Confederacy. During the space battle, Anakin is shot down and crash lands in the forest. On the beachhead, overwhelming assault forces push Kenobi back into the forest. The planet is nearly lost. Back on Coruscant, Palpatine confronts the massive loss of personnel by passing a law forcing conscripts into the armed forces. Clones can not be replaced as fast as the droid armies can. A conscript army leaves for Kashyyyk.

The conscript army finds a ravished Kashyyyk. The droid army left a smoking forest behind as they fled a week ago. Medical teams rescue Kenobi and Anakin from the forest. Aboard a medical frigate, Anakin’s wounded arm is amputated and replaced with a mechanical substitute. Both he and Kenobi are devastated by the war.

End Credits

Star Wars: Episode I (Rewritten)

Star Wars
Episode I: The Oncoming Storm

Opening Crawl

It is a dark time for the galaxy. Ambition and greed have started to corrupt the once great Galactic Republic.
The massive organs of commerce, after enacting harsh trade tariffs, have begun to enforce penalties on the defenseless planet of Alderaan with their remorseless droid armies.
Bail Organa, Senator of Alderaan, seeks to escape to the capital of the Republic so that he can plead with the newly elected President for help in this crisis…

 

Synopsis

Senator Bail Organa, seeing the imminent invasion of his home planet Alderaan by the Trade Federation is underway, and under orders from his Queen, the young Amidala, to seek help, manufactures an escape. While being pursued in a vicious space battle, his ship, the Tantive IV is damaged. He diverts to the small, outlying Tatooine system for repairs before continuing on to the galactic capital of Coruscant.

Meanwhile, the mysterious half droid, half man General Grievous leads an invasion of Alderaan. His mechanical limbs and tattooed face give him a fearsome appearance. The pitiful local resistance is swept away as Alderaan has no planetary defenses.

On Tatooine, Organa is finding the junk dealers mostly corrupt as he salvages for parts. A helpful teenage slave named Anakin Skywalker directs him to the local Jedi for help. Organa finds a young Jedi Knight named Obi-Wan Kenobi, who has himself been lead to a strong force presence in the area. Together with Anakin, the Senator and the Jedi hatch a plan to win the money needed betting on the morrow’s podrace. With Anakin piloting, who by now Kenobi has secretly identified as the strong Force presence he was seeking, the podrace is won. With the parts purchased and Organa about to leave, Kenobi incites the Senator to purchase Anakin and take him and the boy to Coruscant so that he can contact the Jedi Council.

Enroute to Coruscant, Kenobi begins lecturing Anakin about the history of the Jedi and Organa receives a burst transmission from Amidala detailing the atrocities of the invasion. Once on Coruscant, Organa seeks an audience with the newly elected President of the Republic while Kenobi and Anakin seek out the Jedi Council.

The Jedi Council, led by Master Yoda, accepts Anakin as their new pupil. He is assigned to Kenobi, at Kenobi’s insistence, as his padawan. Meanwhile, Palpatine hears Organa’s plea and admits something must be done. He orders a special session of the Senate and they vote to send the newly created Clone Army of the Republic to liberate Alderaan. The Jedi Council sends Kenobi and Skywalker, as guardians of peace and justice, to ensure that the Senator remains safe and that conventions of war are followed.

The Clone Army arrives and engages the Trade Federation in battle above the planet Alderaan while a small force penetrates to the planet below. The clones invade the palace and route the poorly fortified battle droids. Kenobi briefly engages General Grievous and realizes Grievous is a Sith Lord when he draws lightsaber against him. Meanwhile Anakin and Organa free Amidala. Kenobi is wounded as Grievous escapes. The droid control ship is destroyed in orbit and Alderaan is won.

End Credits

All I Want for Christmas

All I want for Christmas are a few little things. Feel free to ignore this list and buy me something really cool, or if you are feeling stuck, pick something and stick it under my parent’s tree. Suffice to say, if you don’t know how to get it under my parent’s tree (or contact me), you should probably be buying a gift for someone closer to your home tree. But thanks for the thought.

1. iPad Mini 4 or 2 $399+ or $269+, any capacity, prefer Space Gray, available almost anywhere iPad minis are sold. See http://www.apple.com/ipad-mini-4/

2. LEGO Palace Cinema #10232 $149.99, available on shop.lego.com or maybe your local Lego Store. See http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Palace-Cinema-10232?fromListing=listing

3. LEGO Darth Vader #75111 $29.99, available on shop.lego.com or anywhere Lego is sold (Lego Store, Walmart, Target, Toys R Us). See http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Darth-Vader-75111?fromListing=listing

4. LEGO Clone Commander Cody #75108 $19.99, available on shop.lego.com or anywhere Lego is sold (Lego Store, Walmart, Target, Toys R Us). See http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Clone-Commander-Cody-75108?fromListing=listing

5. LEGO Rey’s Speeder #75099 $19.99, available on shop.lego.com or anywhere Lego is sold (Lego Store, Walmart, Target, Toys R Us). See http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Rey-s-Speeder-75099?fromListing=listing

6. shop.lego.com gift card, any amount, so I can buy my own Lego. See http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Gift-Cards

7. ThinkGeek.com gift card, any amount, so I can buy something geeky. I would have listed a bunch of stuff, but the list is way too long. I’ll be just as happy to pick something myself. See https://www.thinkgeek.com/brain/order/certificate.cgi

8. iTunes gift card, any amount, sold almost anywhere gift cards are sold (Walmart, Target, etc) and online. I have a massive list of music, movies, and TV shows that I want and my preferred outlet for media is iTunes. See http://www.apple.com/shop/accessories/giftcards

9. Clothing – Take me shopping for best fits! – I need a nice sweater or two for church, size is XXL. I love geeky/nerdy/Star Wars apparel, such as socks and T-shirts (XXL).

10. I love the Green Bay Packers, the Cleveland Indians, and Star Wars. So anything related to those three franchises will sure be a hit.

Thank you and Merry Christmas!

True Christmas

Apparently the word “christmas” is a portmanteau of two words: Christ and mass for “Christ’s mass” or a Catholic church service celebrating the person of Christ, commonly called Jesus. Also, I’ve heard if you rearrange the words in Santa you get Satan, and both are sometimes seen as the enemy of Christ.

This is an essay about the phenomenon of Christmas, as I understand it, and some of the controversies that arise about Christmas every year in American popular culture. If that isn’t your cup of hot chocolate, feel free to stop reading and wait for my next treatise. Otherwise, let’s continue.

I think it is interesting that the color red is associated with Christmas, as it is also associated with the devil, who is depicted in paintings and other representations as wearing a red suit. You know who else wears a red suit? Santa “Satan” Claus. Coincidence? Probably. You see, I doubt anyone was paying close attention to things like that when they were designing Christmas iconography.

Santa, while having roots in Sinterklaas, a Dutch St. Nicholas who put gifts into children’s wooden shoes, and the 280 A.D. St. Nicholas of what is today Turkey, is actually more of a modern creation. The current vision of Santa Claus comes from the 1820’s in the United States when the poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas” was published and a popular image of the saint (santa being Spanish for a feminine saint, by the way – as in Santa Fe) was drawn. One hundred years later, in the early 1930’s, the song “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” was recorded, thus cementing the idea of Santa Claus as we know him in American culture.

What does this have to do with Christianity? Almost nothing, except that the basis of Santa, the St. Nicholases, were Catholic saints who helped poor children have food, clothing, and money during the cold winter months of Europe and West Asia. It certainly has nothing to do with organized Protestant religions. Nowhere in the Bible is such a figure represented, for example, though Christ certainly demands that his followers care for the orphan and the widow on multiple occasions, so the spirit of the saints may be Christian.

I’ve mentioned several times the association between Santa and Satan, which may seem weird given the history of Santa as a saint, but that is because Santa is vilified in certain Christian circles as the enemy of True Christmas. True Christmas, you see, has been and always was, about the birth of Christ, which occurred on, or near about, the 25th of December in a manger in Bethlehem as foretold by the Hebrew prophets. At least, that is the story many cling to. There are other Christian explanations for why we have a Christmas tree, and other common Christmas decor and trappings. (The tree representing the wood of the cross on which Jesus was destined to die to save the world from their sins, for example.)

But scholars put the birth of Christ near enough to September as to render part of that argument moot. So why the December rituals? Pagan winter solstice celebrations surrounding the Germanic/Norse god Odin, the All Father. The Catholic church had a unique way of conquering new geographic areas for religious purposes: they would very cleverly co-opt local deities and festivals, give them Christian names or associate them with Christian saints or events, and call the work of converting the locals complete. After building a few churches and making mass attendance mandatory under threat of punishment, the Catholic church suddenly had hundreds or thousands of new members (and lots more tithes for their coffers). Yule was a Germanic ritual holiday feast that occurred in mid-winter. Odin, the All Father, was lord of the feast. Call Odin “God” and Yuletide “Christmastide” and voila you have new converts and a new Christmas holiday.

Christmas is based on Catholic imperialism and pagan ritual. Jesus wasn’t born anywhere near December. The symbols of Christmas are purloined from local festivals. Where then is True Christmas? It seems that True Christmas is the myth and Santa and Christmas are the real reasons for the season.

With that paragraph I have enraged an entire swath of the Christian population that hold to their dearest of holidays with great reverence. You see, True Christmas, once again, has been and always will be solely about the birth of Christ come to redeem us from our sins and eternal death in hell, according to them. “Merry Christmas” is no mere greeting, it is a holy incantation meant to hallow the season. That is why these Christians are so enraged when someone, or an organization, fails to wish them “Merry Christmas” and instead substitutes “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings”. In fact, the simple act of trying to avoid offense greatly offends them.

America has been and hopefully always will be a pluralistic society. It was founded with the key goal of religious freedom, so that Catholics and Protestants and Methodists and Orthodox (and whoever else) could worship freely. That is what some of the Pilgrims were escaping in Europe after all – religious persecution. Therefore, in today’s America, recognizing that the stranger who orders a coffee in your local Starbucks may be a Christian, or a Wicca, or a Muslim, or a devout Jew and may be celebrating Christmas, the Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, or no holiday at all, some people choose to avoid the scandal of “which greeting is correct for your religion” and instead substitute a generic, secular greeting. Recognizing, quite correctly after all, that Christmas has nothing to do with religion whatsoever, especially in 2015, in fact “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” becomes the appropriate greeting.

Starbucks this year, which has traditionally used a red cup with generic holiday imagery to celebrate the fall and winter holidays, has decided to use no imagery at all and has apparently instructed their employees not to say “Merry Christmas” and has therefore come under fire from Christians who celebrate True Christmas for taking the “Christ out of Christmas” and perpetuating a cultural “War on Christmas”. These are the same Christians that become outraged when a public Nativity scene is removed from public property or when a Christmas tree is called a holiday tree and really the list goes on. They say that maintaining a Christmas without the True Christmas Christ is akin to blasphemy and they don’t care that they share an America with those of many faiths or no faith at all. This is why they also, traditionally, dislike the saintly Saint Nick. In their view, Santa Claus takes away from the central position of the baby Jesus in the manger in Bethlehem.

The reality, as I’ve said, is that America is a secular, pluralistic nation. You are free to create a Christmas holiday that is about the birth of Christ and celebrate it however feels appropriate, but that does not come with an inherent right to force others to celebrate your Christmas. By failing to wish you your preferred greeting, persecution or war is not being levied. This is simply America being America. Furthermore, you can create a Christmas holiday that is about the birth of Christ, but that doesn’t make it historical or Biblical. In fact, the Biblical Jesus, I believe, would have Christians emulate Father Christmas and care for the orphan and the widow and as widely as possible give food, clothing, and money to those less fortunate. That, in my view, is the True Christmas one should fight for, not Christmas iconography on disposable coffee cups or the cashier saying “Merry Christmas”.

With that in mind, I wish you Happy Holidays. Thanks for reading.