An Unknown Island
Is everyone on this island female? I thought. Not that that is a bad thing, as I happen to prefer the company of women casually and sexually, but this is a little bizarre. Reminds me of some planet that Captain Kirk would visit: the Carefully Hygienic, Patently Beautiful, Stunningly Sixties Girl Planet. Ha. I crack myself up.
So, to recap, I was on a routine scouting mission testing a new type of combat jet aircraft, scouting nothing but what was supposed to be Atlantic Ocean when I hit something I couldn’t see, encountered a shit load of turbulence, and crash landed on a beach. And was found by a gorgeous woman who calls herself Diana. How’s that for a day in the life of a test pilot?
Apparently, somehow, this entire island is shielded which makes it invisible. No, don’t ask me, I don’t know how. It seems impossible, but then neither I nor the advanced sensors in the jet noticed the island I crashed into until most of my plane was crumpled, flaming metal.
Anyway, Diana is taking me to her people, I guess, who apparently are all women from what she is telling me. At least she promises food. Nothing makes a combat aviator hungry like combat aviation.
We finally get to a clearing, and it is clear they are shielding me from their society as they have laid out a picnic and I am told that a matriarch will come to see me. Yeah, don’t take the tiny outsider to your secret city on your invisible island. That’d be too much. I guess I really shouldn’t be so snarky. It isn’t like a castaway would get a tour of the bridge or the ops centre on the U.S.S. Enterprise if they were picked up lost at sea.
So, the food is good. Some sort of fire roasted animal, coconut and a few other fruits I can identify, plus a few I can’t. There are a few other women here, but none have said anything beyond introducing themselves. My god, are they beautiful. I would sleep with any of them at the drop of some panties and thank them for the privilege. No wonder they keep this island hidden. Every male and lesbian on the planet would be on their shores within minutes as soon as the word got out.
Sorry, I really must focus. Especially since the Matriarch is coming. And here she is. She is older than the rest, which makes sense. She welcomes me to the island, which is apparently called Isla Paraíso, or Paradise Island. I catch the eye of a particularly cute girl. Paradise Island, indeed – FOCUS, Hal. Focus! I am an honored guest, but will not be permitted to stay. I will be taken to the shore and sent off the island. No mention right now as of how, seeing as my jet is a burnt hulk. They will have someone go with me. Huh, at that, Diana perked up (heh- dammit, Hallie Jordan. Focus!). I bet she asks to go with me. She does and is denied. She looks super pissed. I wonder why. Oh well. They are clearing up lunch. I guess this is it. Another woman is introduced to me, Nepherie. Hello Nepherie. She is cold and austere and a pretty hot blonde. Oh, I give up. These girls are wearing nothing but white billowy robes. How am I not supposed to notice?
Anyway, ice princess takes me back through the jungle and to the coastline. Ah. Now I see how they want me to get home: my escape raft. How fortunate they recovered it from the wreckage, which I notice has mysteriously disappeared. All that remains of my unfortunate accident is a line of scorched earth. I’m obviously not going to be able to report the location of the island without my flight recorder. I guess I will have to report the jet lost at sea after engine failure or something.
Evidently these people know where the battle group is. Nice. Ice princess is giving me bearings to head to once I am at sea and away from the island. Well, nothing for it. Ice Princess wades out past the breakers to get me to calmer ocean, swimming the last part of the way. That was nice of her. She then dives beneath the water and I never see her again. I shrug. Her loss. I remove a plastic paddle from its straps and start paddling. This is going to take forever. Suddenly, the emergency beacon in my flight suit starts beeping. Oh, that will definitely help. I thought it was broken. I turn around and am shocked to no longer be able to see the island. I apparently just passed beyond their electronic frontier. Invisible islands. What will they think of next?
Still I keep paddling. No sense in sitting here idle. Besides, night is falling and the wind is picking up. It’s getting cold out here. I wish the island beauties had given me a blanket or something.
Something erupts from the water behind my raft. I turn expecting a dolphin or a shark or something. Instead, it is Diana. What the hell?
She is asking for asylum in the United States of America. A defector? From paradise? She is talking about how she feels trapped and wants to experience life outside the island. I guess that makes sense. I have no idea what I am going to tell my commanding officer about how I crashed into the ocean and somehow still managed to pick up a date, but I am sure with Diana’s help I can come up with something that sounds plausible. I haven’t decided if I will tell them about the invisible island or not. I wasn’t exactly told not to, but the matriarch did express a wish to remain hidden. Diana is telling me she’ll handle that. Oh good. I feel so much better.
At least she can help paddle. We strike our paddles into the water, and push towards the U.S. NAVY.
What a weird day.