I thought I had written about Rich Mullins before on my blog. I can’t find where, except for one post that is more about a song he covered than about the man himself. I reference him in my book Whiskey Poetry, heavily influenced by his thought and philosophy.
Rich Mullins was a recording artist in the Contemporary Christian Music world in the late 80’s and throughout the 90’s until his death September 19, 1997. He was a complicated man, who frequently went against the evangelical Christian sub-culture that embraced his music and used his songs for their worship services. His death was a sudden automobile accident, an ignoble end for such an authentic person.
I was born and raised in the evangelical Christian sub-culture that embraced Rich Mullins, and his albums were on constant play on my boombox, along with others. I have long been enamored with the poetical and metaphorical content of his lyrics, and the realness of his soul, both of which were impossible to ignore as I sung along. I was touched deeply when I heard news of his death. I was ten years old.
Since that time, my own personal journey with faith has been long and varied. Today I more, or less, have no spiritual aspect to my life, in terms of organized religion. I disbelieve that there is any sort of “god” or even “gods” in existence, given an overall lack of evidence for any sort of extraterrestrial being that cares at all about this planet and the sentient beings thereon. It would seem to me that some sort of not-from-Earth sentient beings must exist, given the incredibly vast nature of the observable universe, but I don’t think any of them are “god” as described by most religious people on this planet.
Rich Mullins was certainly more religious than me, but in contrast to those in my younger world, he was certainly on the fringe. He was completely honest about his struggles with faith, his lack of concrete answers, and his opposition to the status quo of the sub-culture. All my life, I had similar questions, struggles, and opposition, but I was not able to articulate it, nor would I have been comfortable doing so. Christianity has always been core to my family, and it was part of who we were (and who most still are). To go against that as I grew up would have been anathema to our central identity. So I kept my vacillations hidden, with various degrees of success until I arrived in college.
As I disassociated and deconstructed from my religious education and upbringing, I continued to appreciate Rich Mullins’ life and music. It spoke to me, even as I rejected the trappings and teachings that surrounded Mullins’ career. I came to appreciate his honesty more than anything, and like a work of art that depicts things I don’t understand or don’t associate with, but that I nevertheless recognize as supremely artistic, I admire his art. Certainly his poetical lyrics influence my own poetry still today.
Next year will be 30 years since Rich Mullins died. If there were to be a heaven, I am sure it is for people like him, ragamuffins of the world, people that don’t fit into a social construct and who are completely honest about their place in life. I aspire to be as honest and as real as Mullins was. I miss his influence, and his way of being, that radiated outward from his heart to those that he touched through his music. I wish more who claim the same Christianity that Mullins did acted more like him.
One of my favorite of Rich Mullins’ songs, Elijah, speaks of dying and “go[ing] out like Elijah/ With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire” alluding to the biblical prophet and his rapture into heaven. He also speaks of seeing “candlelight in Central Park”, a reference to the vigils held around John Lennon’s death, and one that Mullins should have earned (and did, to an extent, in the Christian sub-culture). This song is inspiring to me. It captures the essence of how I hope to leave this existence when I do, and also resembles how I live, and how Mullins’ lived: “lonely” “bent to the ground””aging” and yet “free”.
Rich Mullins wasn’t a great man, at least how the world traditionally calls men great, but he was among the best I have ever been aware of. I miss him.
