May the 4th Be With You! On this international day of Star Wars, I am working the entire day on SWD: Revenge of the Sith. “Hold on to your butts!” – Lando Calrissian.
Having dispatched Count Dooku, George Lucas sets about extricating himself from an increasingly embarrassing situation. Unsurprisingly, he makes an absolute mess of it. However, there is one scene in these next ten minutes that I actually do like.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (00.15.06-00.24.52)
Palpatine makes a show of trying to leave Grievous’ increasingly doomed starship as fast as possible, but Anakin, somewhat naturally, is more concerned with saving his partner (who has conveniently slept through Anakin’s latest murder). I am uncertain how being thrown into a balcony, and having it crush your legs, would necessarily knock a person unconscious, but convenient occurrences are nothing new in the prequel trilogy. Despite being mysteriously unharmed, Kenobi remains unconscious. Palpatine tries desperately to get Anakin to leave said sleepy Jedi. I think he is trying too hard, and it is a wonder that Anakin isn’t more suspicious, but then, I suppose Skywalker has more on his mind at the moment.
Moving outside the ship, for a moment, we see that Grievous’s ship is about to endure some major hurt. I can’t help but wonder what Palpatine’s exit strategy was, assuming that he orchestrated this entire event. He arranged to be captured by his mortal enemy and his secret servant so that he could lure Skywalker in to a trap that ends with Skywalker murdering Dooku. Now, he is stuck with his budding protege aboard a ship commanded by his mortal enemy that is under attack by the loyal Republic fleet. So, what? Did Palpatine expect to simply escape from under Grievous’s nose with some ship in the hangar bay? Was Palpatine counting on Anakin to actually rescue him? Why not have a communicator to simply call for backup from the surrounding fleet? Why doesn’t Anakin try to contact the surrounding fleet? And, more to the point, why doesn’t the surrounding fleet make sure that the ship they are so eagerly destroying doesn’t contain the Chancellor of the Republic? You would think that an attacking commander would want to confirm the status of the Chancellor before blowing the ship to pieces. Stepping outside of the movie, this is what happens when a screenwriter doesn’t think through his script. Nothing makes sense, but it happens anyway.
Back inside the ship, there is a momentary return to the madcap elevator, as if Lucas hadn’t already exhausted that joke. First, it doesn’t work. Then our heroes run down the shaft. Then, in magically works. Then our heroes exit the shaft. The whole time Anakin is yelling into his communicator at Artoo, I suppose for comedic effect, but I don’t know because none of this is funny unless you are four. There isn’t even any tension in this scene because the audience knows without a doubt that every single one of these characters survives. This is the definition of mindless action.
There are two more homages to the original trilogy, first with the repelling line trick and second with Artoo’s periscope. Lucas is going crazy with the replica scenes here.
Finally, someone does something smart: the droids locate the Jedi inside the ship and Grievous confines them in a ray shield. Obviously he was under orders not to do so earlier, but now that Dooku is dead and the Jedi are “escaping” he has a different game plan, which only seems to include the Chancellor in an incidental capacity. One wonders why Darth Sidious did not give Grievous more firm instructions concerning the safety of Chancellor Palpatine, considering what happens in a few minutes.
“Wait a minute! How did this happen? We’re smarter than this!” Oh, Kenobi, you crack me up (00.18.00). This is a perfect example of a character asking a question that the audience wants to know the answer to, but in this case, the audience doesn’t mean the ray shield: they mean this entire situation. The Jedi should be way smarter than this, but they still fall for the most obvious ploys and misdirections. But, I actually like this exchange, which begins with “I say patience,” because role reversal of the student/master paradigm is a classic buddy cop technique. Anakin, the hot-headed impatient one is counseling the cool, suave one in patience (00.18.03). It is simple, and that is why it works, especially when Kenobi retorts with a perfectly deadpan yet sarcastic “do you have a plan B?” (00.18.31). This is the definition of partner repartee, not that inane “loose wire” dialogue. I wonder who wrote this section of the screenplay that was not George Lucas because it is light years beyond the stuff around it.
Anyway, the captured Jedi soon find themselves on the bridge and face to face with General Grievous. For some reason Grievous calls Kenobi “the Negotiator”. This moniker is never explained, and certainly doesn’t seem justified, given Kenobi’s easy hand to violence. What is funnier here, though, it what Grievous says next: “Anakin Skywalker…I expected someone of your reputation to be a little older” (00.19.04). I strongly suspect that this is George Lucas making a snarky reference to every critic who said that Anakin was way too young.
Then: Artoo goes nuts, the Jedi Force grab their lightsabers and slash everything in sight, and Grievous escapes through the window into space. Leaving his captured Chancellor behind to probably die. What were his instructions from the Chancellor again? Honestly, you would think that Palpatine would have made certain he would stay alive during this whole gambit, but maybe I give him too much credit.
Homage alert: escape pod POV.
With the crew gone or in pieces, and the ship about to break apart, Kenobi and Skywalker decide to try to land the ship. I really would like to know why they didn’t contact the nearest cruiser and call for backup. Even Anakin says it: “under the circumstances, I would say my ability to pilot this thing is irrelevant” (00.21.42). Maybe this is supposed to be another example of “the best star pilot in the galaxy” but when that same star pilot is saying that this isn’t even flying, I seriously doubt the premise. This is is an irrelevant demonstration of “skill” and when the character knows that, and tells the audience that, then the screenwriter really should change what happens. Especially when what happens is also ludicrous in every way.
Blah blah blah ship breaks up blah blah blah “another happy landing” – except, that is, for the tens of thousands of innocent bystanders who died when the other half of the ship slammed into the city scape (00.23.39). Perspective matters.
Blink and you will miss the Millennium Falcon’s cameo in the bottom right hand corner of the screen at 00.23.53. George Lucas has confirmed that the ship seen there is actually the Falcon, and not some random YT-1300 class Corellian freighter.
“Hold on, this whole operation was your idea…” (00.24.21) Yeah, really, hold on, what? That makes no sense at all. It was Kenobi’s idea to mount a two man rescue mission? If he was on the outer rim, how? And why? If this was his idea, the Kenobi is the most moronic general in galactic history. Bad writing. Poor planning. Careless craftsmanship.
And the rest of this dialogue is meant to remind people that Anakin the Killer is really Anakin the Hero and that the audience really should like him. Sorry, doesn’t work.
Anakin walks off to be the “poster boy” and Kenobi flies off to make his report to the Jedi Council.
(00.24.52)
a simple man 